Satire: The Instant Cure for Our Sick Economy

I have the cure for this sick, sick economy. And it’s surprisingly simple. This solution will have our economy so strong that in 30 days, every U.S. citizen who wants a job will have one. Demand for consumer goods will be off the charts. The stock market will set new records.
Here’s the best part for me and my clients: everything I advertise will sell. I’ll look like a genius! My clients will increase budgets and I’ll help them spend it. We’ll both take vacations paid for by the media.
On July 4, 2009, CANCEL ALL DEBT. That’s right, cancel the debt of every U.S. citizen and every company and nonprofit organization. Do this just once. Sort of a “do over” in the nationwide game of finance. A National Day of Debt Amnesty. Crazy idea? Think about it.
If your credit card, mortgage, car and even student loans were forgiven, what would you do? You’d spend money! LOTS. This will create a new, huge demand for consumer goods. More jobs to produce these goods. Housing starts would skyrocket, and so would construction jobs.
And if the debt of every company and nonprofit organization was relieved, companies could get new equipment to manufacture all the products that are suddenly in demand. Schools could get the latest books. Hospitals would get the best equipment.
Of course, with all debt gone, Americans would go out the next day and start accruing more debt. That’s okay, because the National Debt Amnesty Day would come with TWO conditions:
Condition One: Borrowing and lending amounts will be set according to the capability of individuals and organizations to comfortably pay back loans.
Limits would be set conservatively under the amount of debt and payments you could handle with your current income and assets. If you take home $4,000 a month after taxes, your home loan could be no more than $1,000 a month. Your car loan, $300. Everyone would be allowed just one credit card, and the limit could never exceed 10% of your income.
The ceiling for ALL debt might be 50 percent of take-home pay, for example. Better yet, let the ceiling be set at whatever is deemed appropriate by a survivor of the Great Depression. Since we would no longer be buried in debt, we would have money to invest and save.
Condition Two: Personal Bankruptcy would be outlawed for the next 20 years. Corporate Bankruptcy would be outlawed for the next 40 years.
I know what you’re thinking: somebody is getting the short end of the stick. Is it the banks? Nope. They sell your debt. Is it the government? Heck no. It sells its debt also.
Well, who holds most of our debt? Um, I think it’s China. Communist China. Yes, the National Debt Amnesty Day would screw over China. Does anyone feel bad about that?
In fact, look at the advantages for China — they could complain about the evils of capitalism or complain to the U.N. that what we are doing is unfair — kind of like what the U.S. has been saying about China’s unfair trade laws and lack of respect for U.S. patents. Oh, and here’s what we can do for China to compensate — we can give them a loan! ##

About The Author

  • Author | George Farris
George Farris is CEO and Senior Brand Coach at Farris Marketing. Email questions and comments to and connect with George on LinkedIn using the icons above.

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